because you are loved

I am loved.

Sometimes this is so hard for me to believe. I hear it, but it doesn't sink in to my heart. It is the one thing I want so deeply yet the one thing I constantly doubt. I mean is that weird for me to feel? Probably but that's where I'm at. Some days I feel like I never measure up and I feel extremely alone. I know it's not the truth but it's a daily battle for me to believe the truth. I have to make a constant decision to believe that I am loved. Some days it's harder than others and sometimes I'll go hours without remember the truth. I know that it is just the devil trying to get to me and once I let go of that I'm ok, and I keep going on with my day. I find myself reminding others how much they are loved and yet I struggle to remember it for myself. I hurt so deeply just crying out to know that I'm loved and to know that I am loved for myself and not for anything that isn't truly me.

Some days I cry at the thought of how God loves me completely. I have it written all over my room but yet I forget. We have a God who died to show us how much He wholeheartedly loves us. The thought of this completely blows my mind. God died to show someone like me that He will constantly love me. Me, the person who doubts daily that she is loved? God knew before I was born that I would need a constant reminder and yet He still loves me and never fails at putting things in my way to show me. There is never a day when God doesn't remind me how fully He loves me. Some days it's through the people I run into, others from the person speaking on stage, and others it's in the beauty that is all around me. I'll be driving and all the sudden I'll see the sunset that God painted just for us to enjoy that beauty. I'll be sitting there feeling all alone and someone walking by will stop to talk with me. I am blessed to be loved by a God who loves me enough to remind me daily (if not more) how very much He truly loves me. And that same love is for everyone. No matter how much you feel unworthy He will always still love you with a love that never fails and never stops. How different would we act if we remembered that every single day and acted like we truly believe it?

I'm your biggest fan... but really!!

        This week one of the things we talked about in social media marketing was our passions and how we are thought leaders. I was talking with a friend of mine afterwards saying that I didn’t know what to write for a post we had over thought leadership because my main passion is encouraging others in their passions. Honestly if I had to pick one thing to do all day every day for the rest of my life I would choose encouraging people without a doubt. That feeling of seeing someone doing what they love and the joy that comes across their face. Throughout this semester I’ve learned more and more that what really recharges me is getting to pour into others and being able to help them. In doing this I not only am lifting them up but I am speaking the truth of what is good in another human being, and that is beautiful. When you spend time encouraging others it changes your perspective of the world and of us. For me it has made it to where I love people. When I say I love people I really fully mean it like I’m pretty sure I just want to be everyone’s biggest fan. I want to be in the “front row” of their live and get to cheer them on. I want the people around me to see how great these people are that I come in contact with day in and day out. My passion is showing others how much they are worth and hopefully through that showing them a glimpse of how God sees them. I search for the thing in each person that makes them who they are and how they use that every day in a way that is just amazing.

You may wonder ok how does this relate to marketing at all…

Well marketing is helping others succeed in their passions. Forget the tactics and the money and take a step back to see the overview of what we do as marketers, do you see it? Ya right there! we sell a product, not just any product but one that someone was passionate enough about it to create it. Or we sell a company, not just any company but one with employees who work day in and day out to make it all that it is and when it was first started it was one person with a passion and an idea. And without that one person having a passion and following through there would not be anything to do marketing for.

       We see passions every day. Some of them we agree with and some we don’t but that is what makes us different and makes the world interesting. I think that just for a day if you force yourself to look for the best in every person you see (and yes even that one person who no one gets along with) then your whole outlook will change. I hope just for a day you’ll try my passion to make it your own. And whatever your passion is remember you will always have at least one fan.

oh and if you want to read my blog that I'm writing during my marketing through social media blog check it out here: The Marketing All Around Us http://joyousadvertising.blogspot.com/

living life and living it more abundantly

 "Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1-2

This past couple weeks has reminded me so much of how precious life truly is. Last week was our Revival on campus and it was so good to be worshiping along so many other students from UMHB. My sister also had my niece last Monday and she is so beautiful and little yet full of life. We also lost a good family friend of ours back home. I was overjoyed and yet burdened with all that had happened in my life. God took this time to remind me how very important it is to live my life to the fullest it can be. I was reminded that every person I meet I should show kindness and love to even in the smallest of ways. I reminded myself that every word out of my mouth would reflect my life and my heart. I wasn't complete sure that everything I was saying and allowing to be said around me was from love. The realization that I should've been spending my time building people up and making sure to look for the good in all. I decided to change and to become better at loving. I want to be a person that other undoubtedly know that I am a Christian by how I live yet was I showing that? A question I had no answer for. Life goes far to quickly to be tearing others down or making them feel unwanted. I had to make a conscience decision to change and to be more aware of how I live and what I talk about. This isn't an easy thing it makes me think twice about what I say and sometimes I don't catch something I did until after the fact. But I am going to be more loving and caring to others even if it's in the little things that I do in my life.

Also this past weekend I went with our AMA (American Marketing Association) group to New Orleans and I got to network and learn about marketing more. It taught me a lot about different types of marketing and also how to really stand out when looking for jobs. I was glad for all the people I met and all the opportunities that were made available to me!

every road takes me back to the same destination

So I realized that it has been so long since I last posted. I had written down my next post but had yet to type it out and then I blinked and half of March was gone. But this is what I had written

It feels as if everything I want to do brings me back to the same one type of place I would want to work for. Growing up I wanted to sing, then it was to be a speaker, Next I decided to actually study business, just to change to marketing (still in the business area though), eventually I fully realized how much I enjoyed writing and thought about writing a book, and now I want to eventually become an event planner and still of course write. You may wonder a couple things: first off how are any of those things related? Second aren't you still a marketing major? To answer the second question yes I'm still a marketing major, I went back and forth a couple times on if I should change my major or not and I decided that no matter what I eventually marketing will still be the most helpful. And for the first question, I have always loved traveling and seeing the world, and I have a huge heart for teenage and college age girls and I especially want to help them see their self-worth and beauty. Combine those two and what do you get that everything takes me back to? That's right a conference! No matter what I decide I want to do I always feel think of someway to link it back to working at conference or planning a conference. Even if it's just volunteering for them from time to time, I want to be involved with them. I know that God has a plan for my life and what I am supposed to do and I know that this may not be it but if it is I would be excited.

I only have a year left of college and then I'm graduating and thinking about that freaks me out in a way. I start thinking about where I want to live and what I want to do, and I know at first I will take what job I can get (hopefully one I want) and be used there or anywhere. I'm excited and nervous about everything ahead but ready to see where it takes me.

unexpected surprises

This week has been full of surprises, some good and some not so good. My time was spent crying from laughter and then crying without cause and unexpectedly. I was blessed by several God times in my week that lifted me up and made it so I was full of joy. Even in the times when I was randomly crying I felt at peace. I was astounded by how much peace God gave me through all that was happening. I know that in no way was I holding it together on my own, or any of the blessings that were given to me were earned by my doing. I have been overwhelmed by a God who loves me so much and I can't even fathom what life would be without Him.

Over this past weekend my mom had a migraine that caused a stroke or mimicked a stroke, I'm not sure we're positive about which it is. She passed out at work and was in the hospital from Saturday afternoon to Monday. I couldn't believe or even wrap my head around what had happened, and I was ready to completely fall apart. But God had a different plan, though all of what happened He gave me so much peace and before they knew what had fully happened He was  answering our prayers. God showed that He had everything in control and gave me a peace deep down that it would work out. Earlier on Saturday I definitely was not thinking that I was going to be sleeping in the hospital that night, yet there I was. And all around us we had people lifting my mom and I up and showing us that they were there for us. So much was happening at once there were times that I didn't even fully know what was going on, but the fact that there are no long term side effects for my mom is mind blowing. Just hearing that I knew that it was a total God thing.

So no matter what gets thrown at you whether good or bad lean on God and He will be everything you need.

sitting, watching, and waiting

"But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Timing is everything and most importantly God's timing is perfect. One of the things I have been being taught over and over is that patience is something that even though it doesn't come easily to me, I have to learn it. So many times I want to act before God said yes and several times I've tried and failed and had to get up and say that's ok. I've heard over and over that something just wasn't God's timing and honestly I had just gotten used to saying ya that's true, but I was reminded that my timing doesn't work and unless I go to God I will be out of the right time. Often I would get hurt and upset that the door I wanted to be opened so badly was closed right in front of me, and I often would let those feelings control my actions and my weeks. I would shut down at the thought of being rejected again and to avoid it I just wouldn't even try. My thinking was so wrong, and I wasn't going to the One who knew why it wasn't the right time and could show me which door to go through. Even though I kept trying to find the doors I wanted God is always faithful to me showing me another way, a better way. I have been beyond humbled at thinking about all of what I thought was a door being slammed and seeing that it was really just God saying that I should go a better way. I have been given opportunities that I would've never been able to have without something else not working out. If I think about it I wouldn't even be at the university I am, and that I feel so at home at, if I hadn't of gotten a no from the first school I wanted. Learning through being told no is hard but I have to remind myself that there is so much more in store when I make sure to look at where I am being guided. For I know that God has so much more in store for me, and for all of us, than even imaginable. I'm excited to see where He leads me and thankful for His being patient with me.

being more

In life I have heard several things that I should or shouldn't be, from being told how to live by my dad to how abuse victims tend to be. I've never been the girl to except the norm or to be ok with others telling me what I can and can't be but some of the trends scared me. In high school I wanted to show everyone that I could be more than they thought, I pushed to get good grades and to break the stereotypical pastor's daughter mold. I wouldn't rebel but please my parents as much as I could.

Now I hear how typical abuse victims grow up to be. I would often become sick to my stomach or cry at the thought of being like my dad was. I never ever want that and I could never imagine being that. I consistently pray that God would help me be more than the limits that I thought I had to live by. A couple weeks ago I was sitting in class and abuse got brought up, I felt my stomach drop. I just wanted to run out of the room before I lost it. I was remind of what there was to overcome. I was talking to one of my professors about it and was reminded of how much I would never fit in any of the molds that abuse victims fell in. I had been overcoming them long before I realized it. She reminded me that I was being so much more than expected of someone who was a victim. In my mind I was just seeing myself as someone who had these limits but in my life I was being more. I was allowing God to heal me and to use me to reach others. I hadn't shown signs of someone who had been through abuse. In fact she didn't even know until I had told her. I had already made my decision to be more than the typical and I was paying attention to the signs and fighting against them.

In so many people's lives there are "limits" or thing that we think we can't overcome. But we have a God who loves us so much that He will fight for us to overcome and be more. We have a God who loves us and sees the deepest parts of us and won't leave us to fight for ourselves. I learned that through Him I have been able to heal from my past and truly live out my name, being a joy. I still pray that I don't fall into the patterns of what people usually are but that God will continue to use my life to help others. And sometimes it's hard and I do have to remind myself that I am loved, I am beautiful, and I am His. Through Him I have learned how to be more.

How can I forgive someone who doesn't ask for forgiveness?

Forgiveness is something that everyone needs yet it is so hard to give. When we think of forgiving someone we often think that it is after they ask for the forgiveness and not as something to give freely. We are commanded to forgive those who have wronged us but admittedly it is difficult to do. In our hearts we can hold something against others and stay mad at them and those around them for something in the past. For me giving forgiveness is something that I used to think wouldn't be a hard thing to do. But as these past years have gone by forgiveness has been a reoccurring lesson to be learned. I have had to learn to forgive for the things that were asked for, not asked for, and that could never be asked for. And I'm still learning and growing in my life to be someone who easily forgives. I have struggled to wrap my head around something that seemed so hard to do. But keeping bitterness towards someone can hold me back from all that God has for  me and all that I am meant to do.


The Bible says that when we love we will learn to be forgiving. Because you can't love someone without forgiveness. Even though my dad cannot ask for me to forgive him for what he did I know that I need to forgive him for what happened to me in order to fully love. But the looming question of how to forgive someone who can't ask kept coming in my head. I kept praying that God give me the strength to forgive him, and that I would be able to move past the hurt of abuse and all the wrong I felt. I wrote letters of what I felt just to get the words out of my mind, and I cried as I would give it to God. So often my eyes were opened to areas I hadn't noticed before in my life, ways that in my dad's own way he knew what he had done was wrong. I saw that in the end my dad loved me and even though the abuse I went through wasn't correct or what should have happened. It's not like the years of feeling like I was never good enough just went away but slowly the feelings of unworthiness were replaced with love, forgiveness, and a joy. I still have times of hurt and reminders of what was, but I learned to not to keep my focus on those moments but instead find the happiness in those times. There are others in my past that I know that I will probably never ask for me to forgive them of what they did to my family and me. But in the same way that I had to forgive my dad I have learned that even more I need to forgive them. Forgiving them gives God a chance to change my heart and work in the lives of the people I'm forgiving whether or not they have asked for it. I learned that He was waiting for me to give Him the hurt and wrong of what happened. And when I gave it to Him and let go of the bitterness I had towards them, that I gained a freedom from the control that had in my life.

living without fear

Fear, something we all have and all don't know what to do with. It can be fear of anything from heights to people and everything in between. Our fears can either cripple us or make it so we want to conquer them. In my life fear was holding me back, the thoughts would run through my head of what people would think or what they would say about me. I was worried about not being liked and not fitting in, and I often found myself believing the lie that if someone really knew where I came from and who I had to be they wouldn't want to be around me anymore. This fear is still so real to me that even now doing something that I absolutely love doing (aka writing) is scary. I mean I write more than some people know and keep it all locked away on my computer. My dreams, what I'm overcoming, who I was, who my family was, words that I wish every girl could hear and know to be true, even letters all of this written and never seen.

 The thing about fear is we can work through that. God will give us the strength to look straight at the fear and start overcoming it. He will be there beside us giving us the peace and being the rock to hold on to. For me I allowed the fear of rejection and my past to shake my confidence and life. I found myself having a list of things I didn't want to be defined by, like preacher's kid, a girl with "daddy issues", someone who had lost their parent, a victim, or depressed. I knew that I just wanted to be able to be me and not have to fear. I have been through things I would never wish on my worst enemy for awhile I focused on what I had lost. I would run when I felt like maybe people were getting to close or that I started feeling like I couldn't be myself anymore. But I realized that I couldn't always run, and that I had to choose happiness. I mean my name is Joy.... yet I wasn't happy with what I had seen my life become. I was just so used to people in and out of my life that I could keep them at a distance. God started putting people in my life that I would feel completely comfortable around. Several broke through and I finally realized I could be me. It's not always easy I still find myself feeling that am going to be rejected, or a fear of what people will think. But I found that although I have fears I have a faith that my fears can't hold me back from who I am. A faith that God will be right there with me giving me the strength I need to be me. For when I stop letting the fear of what others think determine my actions I find the happiness and the joy throughout my life.